Offended

[nemorathwald]

I just encountered the word "offended" again, spoken in a public relations apology. "Offended" is a word that takes facts off the table, and centers the conversation on subjective reactions. "I apologize for offending you." Translation: "I'm right, but I'm willing to lie and pretend to agree with you because your emotional reaction is more important to me than facts. Later, I'll complain in private over cigars and scotch about how political correctness is pressuring me to live a lie."

Comments

[nicegeek.livejournal.com]

This doesn't seem dishonest to me. There are times when people have a basic disagreement over whether something was right or wrong, but where butting heads over it serves no useful purpose.

Such an apology (if sincere) would, I think, be better translated as "I don't feel that what I said/did was incorrect, but I do care about your opinion and your feelings, and I regret that I've caused tension between us.".

Contrast that with a complete lack of apology, which might be translated as "I feel that what I said/did was correct, and I don't care how it affected you."

After receiving such an expression of regret, the offended person has to decide whether to accept it for what it is and go on with life, or whether the offense was grievous enough to warrant breaking off relations.