That depends solely on how one defines "love." For me, people can can feel affection, lust, or camaraderie toward each other, or they can simply want what's best for each other, or any combination of the above. But I believe cathexis is what makes a person go beyond those categories of closeness and say they are "in" love.
After all, what are the characteristics? Difficulty with objectivity with a minimization of the negative and a focus on the positive. When the boundary between self and other partially blurs around the edges, they even go so far as to say in some traditional wedding ceremonies that they are "one flesh."
That's why I don't see anything disordered about it as long as the person experiencing it realizes what's going on. Bad cases are those lacking in self-awareness who start believing their feelings of love as if it were a reliable source of accurate truth claims about their loved one and their own future feelings. They don't realize that just like any brain chemistry, it's going to wear off.
Instead, I encourage people to just experience this state of consciousness as one might experience chemical substances or transcendental meditative states of consciousness. I've never smoked weed but from what I hear of it you don't want to believe what weed tells you either. I think people should just enjoy infatuation as a form of recreation, and for the valuable social benefit it provides, and not allow it access to the filing cabinet in one's head marked "facts."
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Date: 2005-11-02 10:12 pm (UTC)After all, what are the characteristics? Difficulty with objectivity with a minimization of the negative and a focus on the positive. When the boundary between self and other partially blurs around the edges, they even go so far as to say in some traditional wedding ceremonies that they are "one flesh."
That's why I don't see anything disordered about it as long as the person experiencing it realizes what's going on. Bad cases are those lacking in self-awareness who start believing their feelings of love as if it were a reliable source of accurate truth claims about their loved one and their own future feelings. They don't realize that just like any brain chemistry, it's going to wear off.
Instead, I encourage people to just experience this state of consciousness as one might experience chemical substances or transcendental meditative states of consciousness. I've never smoked weed but from what I hear of it you don't want to believe what weed tells you either. I think people should just enjoy infatuation as a form of recreation, and for the valuable social benefit it provides, and not allow it access to the filing cabinet in one's head marked "facts."