You're missing a core issue: The fact that the Twixter doesn't want to drop to the lower economic strata that actually having to pay rent and utilities would cause. If one lives with one's parents, one can spend that first $1500 of every month's wages on the clubs, music, eating out and clothes, rather than on boring stuff like rent and basic survival. My niece is having this problem right now; moving out means her boyfriend can stay overnight, but it also means they don't have money to play anymore. The adult child has to choose where their priorities lie. Personally, I think the parents made the mistake when the kid asked to come home. They should have either said No right up front, or set up guidelines such that it was clear that it was a temporary arrangement. Certain other of my cousins are caught because their child doesn't want just *any* job....so the child is unemployed and living at home, when the parents should have said they couldn't move back; get a job at Mickey D's and a roommate, and cope. If people over the age of 25 are still living with their parents, there's a certain level of spinelessness on both sides of the equation. (Check back in ten years to find out where my son, now age 12, is living....we'll see how my views have changed.... or not.)
On the fandom question, having a child means that if one is going to go hang at Mofo or Tio's, one must also have a babysitter. This costs $4 an hour in the Ann Arbor area in general; local mileage may vary (ie. you may have a swap arrangement with another family, or your mom may live nearby, etc.). In any case, add some inconvenience and about $20 to the cost of the evening. It makes it non-trivial to stop by.
There is an entire spectrum in fandom, from folks who are kid-phobic (there's just no other word for it; they get nervous and shaky when a small child enters the room) to folks with several kids, and everything in between. It does form a commonality - you have something to talk about. Oddly, people without kids tend to get bored hearing about my kids...hmmm....it's one of my favorite topics.... :-)
So clumps of 'With kids' tend to form, and also other clumps of 'Kid free' tend to form. The 'Kid free' can take off and go places on random weekends with minimal planning; the 'With kids' tend to have the next three months planned out like a military expedition. That's just how it winds up going.
Few are doing this intentionally; it happens because of economics and individual interest level.
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Date: 2005-01-19 07:18 pm (UTC)On the fandom question, having a child means that if one is going to go hang at Mofo or Tio's, one must also have a babysitter. This costs $4 an hour in the Ann Arbor area in general; local mileage may vary (ie. you may have a swap arrangement with another family, or your mom may live nearby, etc.). In any case, add some inconvenience and about $20 to the cost of the evening. It makes it non-trivial to stop by.
There is an entire spectrum in fandom, from folks who are kid-phobic (there's just no other word for it; they get nervous and shaky when a small child enters the room) to folks with several kids, and everything in between. It does form a commonality - you have something to talk about. Oddly, people without kids tend to get bored hearing about my kids...hmmm....it's one of my favorite topics.... :-)
So clumps of 'With kids' tend to form, and also other clumps of 'Kid free' tend to form. The 'Kid free' can take off and go places on random weekends with minimal planning; the 'With kids' tend to have the next three months planned out like a military expedition. That's just how it winds up going.
Few are doing this intentionally; it happens because of economics and individual interest level.