Nightmares

[nemorathwald]

Ever since I realized how close Andy's departure to PCC loomed, I've been waking white-knuckled and shaking from dreams which always ended either in tears or explosive rage. Andy and I and my friend samuraijkm (a fellow PCC refugee) are climbing a maze of traps. A platform collapses and Andy falls into a bottomless pit. If you have any loved ones at all, you can probably imagine that my reaction was not a calm one. The dreams are always different, but easy to understand. I'm going to keep a close eye on PCC while my brother is there. So, it's like I'm dragged back to a horrible episode of my life I had happily left behind.

This week I went to our parents' house to drop off the Hellboy trade paperback Andy loaned me. Dad found it and confronted Andy about having bought it. This time he used a gently imploring tone which he's been practicing ever since wulfthestampede and I stopped listening to anything he has to say. Dad realized he can't influence his kids just by demanding that they respect him. Considering that Andy leaves the nest this week, it's obviously too little too late. Andy has a adult's grip on reality that my dad will not shake-- but perhaps the military-school atmosphere of PCC will have better luck brainwashing him. Andy distinguishes reality from fantasies like Hellboy with a little thing we adults who live in the real world call "make believe." In this regard he is light-years ahead of our parents at the tender age of 18. After the confrontation, I went in and fished Hellboy out of the trash and said to Andy, "Unless you want to put up with four years of that, go to an excellent veterinary school like MSU. Do either one if that's what you really want. That's all I'm going to say."

What I should have done was confronted Dad by telling him I know lots of real-life witches and they're no worse than he is. In fact they're the same gullible fools that my parents are. Before the neopagans get all over my case about criticizing (which I will not retract), understand my point, that my parents need to hear and consider that in the eyes of their adult son who knows them well, they are the same as witches on the crackpot fringe of society. Now is the turning point in my brother's life as it was in mine, and I need to give my parents and PCC the tooth-and-claw fight of their miserable lives. So many PCC students stay there under the illusion that they would have nowhere else to turn. I need to start raising funds for plane fare home for Andy. A cash bucket on a table, with his picture and a sign reading "help give a second chance to someone in thrall to crackpot loons by an accident of birth!" I need to start hunting for scholarships and grants for him. I need to get an extra bed and set it up at my place for him. I need to start organizing an underground railroad for PCC students. I am going to FIGHT for my siblings!

Comments

[babykinsmi.livejournal.com]

As the oldest of four children, I can relate to your need to take care of and 'protect' your younger siblings, especially if you experienced the same thing and don't want them to make the same mistake as you did.

Donating

[twoofdtm.livejournal.com]

When it comes time for your brother to come home when he's ready I will help you get him home Matt. I promise you this.

Righteous Anger

[cosette-valjean.livejournal.com]

I can't believe your father threw away your brother's property. How manipulative and controlling. No respect whatsoever. I will help with what I can if your brother wants to come home. He should not have to be afraid to live life how he would wish. I think I could help search the web for grants and scholarships. Everytime you talk to him remind him there are other ways and other paths. I think you should confront your parents if only to disallusion them from thinking that you are following in their footsteps. Of course, I don't think yelling is the solution, but I think it would be healthy to express you anger. I will add more later.

Continued...

[cosette-valjean.livejournal.com]

I'm back. I think you should tell your parents of your anger and frustration and the reasons why (i.e. injustice, manipulation, no logic or reasoning, etc.). Fight the good fight. Open your brother's eyes and help your parents have a dose of reality in their make-believe world. Make sure your brother knows that he has you and others to rely upon when he changes his mind. I think it will help him to know that there is support. Intense conversation can still be a loving experience as long as the decibles don't get too high. Your parents should realize how loopy they are. They think they are model citizens.

[treebones.livejournal.com]

I'm an MSU alum. Would you like me to start mining for information specific to both the vet school and scholarships?

Does Andy have any particular skills, sports, or high test scores that might prove helpful? Does he have any particular animal or disease interests in relation to veterinary medicine?

Hrm. Actually, I've got a moderate Christian friend who graduated from the MSU vet school...should I dig him up for possible networking purposes?

For future plans...

[phecda.livejournal.com]

While it's not set in stone, Lady Sarah and I will be a half day drive from PCC in mid-december. I would be happy to do an extraction of your brother at that time if required. And after 16 hours of Luke Ski and Grateful Dead on the way home, he should be fairly deprogrammed. ;-)

Keep me posted. I have frequent flyer miles, too.

[wulfthestampede.livejournal.com]

i cant blame never going to college on anyone but myself, but (slightly) in my defense, christian colleges were really the only option shown me....fortunately right around the end of elementary school/beginning of junior high i had begun to free my mind from the whole christian thing, and by the time they sent my classmates and i on (christian)college trips i was like "F**K THIS!!" it was just more of the same crap i had suffered through for years....having said all that, lets maybe not demonize my mommy and daddy so much, pwetty pleeeease??!?!? maybe theyre misguided (maybe not? probably?) but they really do care for their kiddies. imagine u truly believed that the end result of mohawks and face-piercings and marilyn manson concerts was eternal darnation...everythings going smoothly, and then one day yer amazingly handsome second-born goes "HEY!! i dont believe in god!! i have drugs to do, and girls to screw, so maybe ill see ya in two years!!" u can see how that would kinda..u know..f**k things up a little bit.....im sure andy, and sarah have been under a more watchful eye since then.....em too, for a bit...maybe the pressure was on not to let them stray too far, cuz i went off the frikken deep end. i dunno. but i do know that i was (am?)the BLACKEST of all black sheep, and they still love me.....anysway, ill chip in if he needs a ticket home from the land of pink and blue sidewalks. and he can borrow my comics when he comes out to cali to visit!! but u cant, matt, cuz u always leave them at mom and dads, and i never see them again! LOL!!!

[sothisislife.livejournal.com]

I'm in for at least five bucks for the "bring Andy home" fund, when the time comes =)

[bluehamster98.livejournal.com]

/me has never heard a good thing about PCC, and expects not to

I'll also donate frequent flier miles, and (if I can) other funds to the "Bring Andy Home" fund.

-Karen

[shadowriderhope.livejournal.com]

When the time comes to collect for plane fare, let me know - I'd like to help. Sounds like a terrible thing, and I'm glad you're there to fight for him!