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Religion and The Office
Jan. 2nd, 2010 09:35 pmWhen I attend a funeral, wedding, or other function in a church, every time someone says "God", I mentally substitute "Michael Scott" from the television show "The Office".
We are told, for instance, that such events are not about the deceased, or the bride and groom. It is all about the glory of Michael Scott. The reason the institution of marriage makes so many people happy in our world today (ahem) is that it was invented by Michael Scott to bring power and glory to himself. Did you know that one of the most exciting things you can have is a vital and growing relationship with Michael Scott? We seek that for all of our children. When you look into the eyes of your loved one, you know that Michael Scott must truly exist.
We do not normally admire someone for requiring that we constantly obsess about them. If such an admirable being exists, it is doubtful that being would require this.
It is also doubtful a real God would have invented marriage and churches. Like Michael's schemes, they usually fall apart, and then are blamed on the employees. Even when they "succeed", they aggregate power where it does not belong.
It is also doubtful that a real God would have written a story in which everyone except for him is to blame for someone dying of torture thousands of years ago. Michael, why does the death of an innocent make the situation better instead of worse? Why couldn't you just forgive everybody instead? So why is his death the fault of everyone, everywhere, ever, when it is obviously yours alone? "Because... well... um... the rules are different for awesome people than for cubicle drones. Sorry, that's just the way the Office works." Classic Michael Scott.
Most people just keep quiet and don't puncture the bubble, like most of the employees on the show, because Michael would burst into tears and Dwight would throw a fit. But if you want to make your entire life about Michael Scott, OK. I already quit the Office, so that's fine with me. Just be careful to take Dwight as a cautionary tale.
We are told, for instance, that such events are not about the deceased, or the bride and groom. It is all about the glory of Michael Scott. The reason the institution of marriage makes so many people happy in our world today (ahem) is that it was invented by Michael Scott to bring power and glory to himself. Did you know that one of the most exciting things you can have is a vital and growing relationship with Michael Scott? We seek that for all of our children. When you look into the eyes of your loved one, you know that Michael Scott must truly exist.
We do not normally admire someone for requiring that we constantly obsess about them. If such an admirable being exists, it is doubtful that being would require this.
It is also doubtful a real God would have invented marriage and churches. Like Michael's schemes, they usually fall apart, and then are blamed on the employees. Even when they "succeed", they aggregate power where it does not belong.
It is also doubtful that a real God would have written a story in which everyone except for him is to blame for someone dying of torture thousands of years ago. Michael, why does the death of an innocent make the situation better instead of worse? Why couldn't you just forgive everybody instead? So why is his death the fault of everyone, everywhere, ever, when it is obviously yours alone? "Because... well... um... the rules are different for awesome people than for cubicle drones. Sorry, that's just the way the Office works." Classic Michael Scott.
Most people just keep quiet and don't puncture the bubble, like most of the employees on the show, because Michael would burst into tears and Dwight would throw a fit. But if you want to make your entire life about Michael Scott, OK. I already quit the Office, so that's fine with me. Just be careful to take Dwight as a cautionary tale.
