My Facebook Form Letter

Dear [most Facebook friend requests I receive],

I have two rules for accepting friend requests. I must know them offline, or they must show a photo of themselves on their profile. The reason for these rules is that otherwise I couldn't keep it straight about who they are, where I know them from, or anything else.

For instance, because you meet neither of these criteria, I do not remember ever interacting with you, at least under your real name. Thank you for your friend request, but I will decline.

-Matt