Socializing

I'll try almost anything once. So far my adventures have included goth nightclubs, a sword fighting class, a seedy karaoke bar and a clogging class. Needless to say, it's been as a fascinated observer rather than a participant. It's kind of like the new Star Wars trilogy: It's worth renting on DVD to see the pretty special effects the first time, but the second time you watch it, it's a stale rerun. If anyone had told me years ago (during the period where these experiences would have been considered unthinkable deviations from sanity) that there would come a time I would feel guilty for not wanting to go to a goth nightclub, I would have laughed. "You need to get your nose out of a book and go out on the dance floor or go to a karaoke bar," some of my friends say. I feel guilty about getting no enjoyment from singing and dancing-- which are supposed to be fun-- how unhealthy is that on so many levels? The funny thing is, this approach of "it's good for you, you'll learn to like it eventually" is giving me the same feeling I used to get about sitting in church. Every time I go to Star Bar or City Club they keep apologizing for it being a slow night and assuring me it was really an exception. If I just keep trying, eventually I'll attend one of these clubs on a night when it's actually enjoyable on a personal level rather than another one of my experiments in alien anthropology. I want to get out of the house and meet new people, but the world seems to be unsuitable. I guess I just need to accept that my idea of a fun place to socialize, where there is sufficient light and quiet to actually see and hear my friends, might not exist outside of conventions, the weekly M.O.F.O. and Tuesday at Tio's, and parties. We need a relaxicon around here. Alas poor Bacchanal, I hardly knew thee.