Where you go wrong in the whole thing is in this line:
I don't know how to help them find information they don't actually want.
You claim repeatedly in your posts about work that you like to solve problems, but you always miss the idea that the person doing the hiring is also looking to solve a problem. Their perspective on the problem might be different, but a key fact you often overlook is that no one pays for something that they don't think will be useful to them. Instead of being frustrated at not being able to help them find information they don't want, put yourself into their shoes for a minute and try to figure out what information they DO want.
Let me offer you a different perspective, one from the point of view of someone who would have a reason to go and hire a web designer (and indeed, recently did hire a designer to re-do our PHP-based request system). Were I to hire someone for a new project and wasn't already familiar with their work (i.e., not you), I'd also ask for a portfolio. In doing so, I'd not be interested so much in what the actual content is, but in the following:
* Most importantly, a portfolio indicates that you can actually finish a project. There is zero usefulness for me to hire someone who will quit midway through. If the payment is agreed as a "per project" deal, then I'm still out the time it took for the designer to get partway. That includes my time for designing the specs, the time of whatever client base I plan to use the project for, and the time of the employees who are in a holding pattern. Maybe I've only put off making other marketing items to co-ordinate, maybe I've only delayed the launch of a service-- but those are still "costs" to me. If it's a much larger project and we've negotiated a per-hour rate paid on a scheduled basis, then I'm out all of the above PLUS whatever I've already paid you. Being able to see other projects that you've finished is the first step in determining whether you're going to be an asset or a liability.
* Your portfolio will also tell me whether you're a one-trick pony or not. If you show me four sites designed for four clients and they all look the same to me, that tells me that I'm going to get something that looks very similar. That's not *always* a liability, if your one-size-fits-all solution also fits me, but if I want something different, I want enough variety in your portfolio to show me that you're flexible, and can work with your clients to give them what they need rather than what you shove at them. In this sense, pointing them towards the Kirk In The Hills site and the Penguicon site is not a bad idea, because they are dissimilar and indicate that you can work with my needs. Your personal site is also different from both of those, and could be used as another example, though I would recommend removing most of the content from it just for your own privacy-- which brings up my next point, which is that you should ALWAYS keep your portfolio hosted on a server that's under your control, and remove private information from it. However, being able to see how the text flows is still helpful, so in the portfolio version you can easily remove the client's text in favor of text describing why you designed it the way you did, or which portions you designed and which you designed around (i.e., were specified by the client). This will have the added benefit of reinforcing the idea that you can work WITH your client and suit their needs, because something along the lines of "I put this bit here because the client asked for something that would make it easier for them to do X" is ridiculously informative.
For an example of a portfolio that makes me drool, look at http://www.chrisd.com/projects_web.html . The only reason I did not hire him for ... roughly every project ever, frankly... is that he did not return any of my emails. I'm not suggesting that you should do exactly as he does, but he does a good job of showing his work while still explaining how it came to be the way it is, and hopefully it will give you a spark of inspiration.
no subject
I don't know how to help them find information they don't actually want.
You claim repeatedly in your posts about work that you like to solve problems, but you always miss the idea that the person doing the hiring is also looking to solve a problem. Their perspective on the problem might be different, but a key fact you often overlook is that no one pays for something that they don't think will be useful to them. Instead of being frustrated at not being able to help them find information they don't want, put yourself into their shoes for a minute and try to figure out what information they DO want.
Let me offer you a different perspective, one from the point of view of someone who would have a reason to go and hire a web designer (and indeed, recently did hire a designer to re-do our PHP-based request system). Were I to hire someone for a new project and wasn't already familiar with their work (i.e., not you), I'd also ask for a portfolio. In doing so, I'd not be interested so much in what the actual content is, but in the following:
* Most importantly, a portfolio indicates that you can actually finish a project. There is zero usefulness for me to hire someone who will quit midway through. If the payment is agreed as a "per project" deal, then I'm still out the time it took for the designer to get partway. That includes my time for designing the specs, the time of whatever client base I plan to use the project for, and the time of the employees who are in a holding pattern. Maybe I've only put off making other marketing items to co-ordinate, maybe I've only delayed the launch of a service-- but those are still "costs" to me. If it's a much larger project and we've negotiated a per-hour rate paid on a scheduled basis, then I'm out all of the above PLUS whatever I've already paid you. Being able to see other projects that you've finished is the first step in determining whether you're going to be an asset or a liability.
* Your portfolio will also tell me whether you're a one-trick pony or not. If you show me four sites designed for four clients and they all look the same to me, that tells me that I'm going to get something that looks very similar. That's not *always* a liability, if your one-size-fits-all solution also fits me, but if I want something different, I want enough variety in your portfolio to show me that you're flexible, and can work with your clients to give them what they need rather than what you shove at them. In this sense, pointing them towards the Kirk In The Hills site and the Penguicon site is not a bad idea, because they are dissimilar and indicate that you can work with my needs. Your personal site is also different from both of those, and could be used as another example, though I would recommend removing most of the content from it just for your own privacy-- which brings up my next point, which is that you should ALWAYS keep your portfolio hosted on a server that's under your control, and remove private information from it. However, being able to see how the text flows is still helpful, so in the portfolio version you can easily remove the client's text in favor of text describing why you designed it the way you did, or which portions you designed and which you designed around (i.e., were specified by the client). This will have the added benefit of reinforcing the idea that you can work WITH your client and suit their needs, because something along the lines of "I put this bit here because the client asked for something that would make it easier for them to do X" is ridiculously informative.
For an example of a portfolio that makes me drool, look at http://www.chrisd.com/projects_web.html . The only reason I did not hire him for ... roughly every project ever, frankly... is that he did not return any of my emails. I'm not suggesting that you should do exactly as he does, but he does a good job of showing his work while still explaining how it came to be the way it is, and hopefully it will give you a spark of inspiration.